Scary Snake Story

This was the moment that turned Lacey and Shirley lesbians for life. They vowed to never go another day without wearing the same pink outfit again... until one day when Shirley started donning plaid flannel.

I was told the following story last night, and while it may have happened to a friend of a friend of a friend, it's not an urban legend. It is a true story, and I find it to be rather disturbing. If you hate snakes, don't read on - this is the most disturbing snake story I've heard.

After rehearsal last night, a group of us went out to Green Mill for some cheap apps and drinks. Somehow conversation turned into scary stories of burglaries, pet nightmares, and to us theatre folks, theatre horror stories. I might have to tell one of those after the snake story as those tend to be hilarious albeit an actor's worst nightmare come true.

Heather's friend went to a bridal shower. It was at the bride-to-be's house, where some of the girls had been before. They noticed that the host's pet boa constrictor was gone, and so they asked her what happened...

Apparently, the woman, who loved her pet snake and trusted it whole-heartedly (I can only assume), would let the snake roam free about her house. I'm guessing this is all because the pet was rather large, and she felt bad confining it to such a small space... who knows exactly.

Well, the snake stopped eating one day. The owner got worried that the snake was dying and called the vet. The vet told her that sometimes snakes get bored with what you're feeding them and like a change of food every now and then.

The owner took this advice and immediately bought a new type of food for the snake. Still, the snake refused to eat.

One morning shortly after, the woman woke up and found the snake in bed with her. I guess the snake had done this before, having free range of the house and all, as this wasn't what worried her... instead, she was scared because the snake was stretched out and stiff as a board.

Convinced that her snake was dying, she immediately called the vet again and told them what was happening. Over the phone the vet told her;

"Get out of your house right now. The snake is measuring you up to see if it can eat you. It's been fasting."

Needless to say, she ran outside, called animal control, and they took the snake away.

Isn't that disturbing!? I mean holy crap! If you ever own a snake, let alone a boa constrictor, then I suggest not letting it have free reign of the entire house, and for your own sake, switch up it's food every now and then or it'll switch it up for you...

I should be working... so I'm not going to tell one of the acting horror stories, but let me tell you... you will never hear so many crazy stories than those told by actors... where else will you find conversations combining a barfing dracula on a zip line, spewing over the audience, and Julie Andrews?

This is appropriately titled Huge Dead Snake

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Shalom Shelob!

This was me last night... and yes, I'm talking about Sam, not Frodo. I didn't have a sword, but I did have a mirror...

Yeah, I met my own Shelob last night, and I nearly wet my pants in fear...

Now, I don't know what phobias you readers might have, if any (you strong brutes you), but I can tell you what turns me into a big ole sissy... and that, if it's not obvious yet, is spiders...

Last night, I went to my friend Chris' to housesit/dogsit. I've talked about his house and his cute little pug Harry in a previous post.

It's kind of funny that the one and only other time I've talked about house sitting here, was the one and only other time I tagged a post as 'scary'. Believe me, last night was SCARY.

I got to Chris' house, used my headlights this time to see the front door as everything was pitch black again, and after I was settled in, I was about to go to bed when I saw a HUGE spider, one of, if not THE biggest spider I have EVER seen inside a house.

It had created a web behind a gigantic mirror that Chris has propped up on the ground just centimeters next to his sliding glass door in the living room. I watched in terror as I watched it crawl out of sight behind the mirror. It must have been living there in secret for a while, because after I had tilted the mirror a little bit away from the wall, I noticed it's web covered a large patch of the hidden surface. It was very thick, like a wad of stretched cotton balls, and when I moved the mirror even further from the wall, the web sounded like velcro as it ripped apart.

Thankfully, the spider didn't move too much as I tore up its home. I was able to position the mirror so the edge was directly over the center of the spider, and I pressed it hard against the wall; killing it instantly.

SHABAM!!!!

Shelob wasn't killed instantly, but this isn't HIS story... he's just my visual comparison... as I couldn't take any pictures of my culprit... I was too petrified.

It sounds a little calculated and calm, but believe me... I tried to get Harry to attack it first... but he's too sweet, he wouldn't hurt a fly - although he did try to maul a squirrel today.

Unfortunately, the one and only PERFECT Youtube video for this entry has Embedded disabled per request, so I cannot have it conveniently displayed for direct viewing on my blog :( To see it, you've gotta click on Shelob's face! Go on! I DARE YOU!

House Sitting Oops!

I'm house sitting. I started Thursday night and will go until sometime on Tuesday. It's a very nice, old, rambler that the owner has modernized, but it's got a lot of hallways with tight corners and hidden areas and closets, and so it scares me at night to be there alone.

The entrance is the worst, as it's about 30 feet from the driveway to the door. You have to walk along the side of the garage, in this weird wooden tunnel, and so the end of the walkway is PITCH black. I use my cell phone light to try to brighten it up a bit, but it's still freaky as hell.

It helps though, when I finally get the door open, to hear his little pug, Harry, come running up to the door. If there was an intruder he would probably be dead or held up somewhere. He's really cute, and so good and adorable - he never barks, and he likes to take his toys in his mouth and shake his head really hard. He has a snake toy that he's chewed both eyes out of.

The backyard and sliding glass doors remind me a little too much of the Drew Barrymore sequence in Scream.

After having gone to sleep, waking up alive and whole this morning, and getting myself ready, I was about to leave for work, when I couldn't find the house keys. I then realized that I had left them IN the door. So, if an intruder DID want to kill me that night, I made it more than easy for him to get inside. Good thing I'm not on anyone's hit list... that I'm aware of...

Speaking of pugs...this cheered me up