Nyquil Burps Are THE WORST!

So, I decided to take some nyquil last night, as my cold has come to full fruition and I needed to kick it in the bud. For some reason, the black-liquorice tasting green shit makes me super gassy, and there's nothing more classy than a nyquil burp. ISH!

It did knock me out, after an hour or so, like it usually does, and let me tell you - WHAT a dream!

There I was, standing at the top of a ladder, being scolded by my dad and my uncle below. My mom and cousin were standing by, and if I hadn't been getting an undeserved verbal beating, I would have felt bad for them. I ran to my right, hurt and crying, to a little cubby hole in the wall. I squeezed myself through it and ten feet later was in another room; my bedroom. I sobbed, loudly, and tried to make my sad presence known.

After a minute or so, I crawled back through the cubby hole and without standing up, slowly crept my way to the ladder. Down, in our pit of a living room, everyone was playing scrabble. My 16 year old cousin had just spelled 'baroque' and the room exploded with laughter at how smart of a boy he was. They didn't care that I was in pain. So I ran back to my cubby hole and laid down.

My dad, who must have heard me depart, followed me, and when he finally persuaded me to come out of my room, he told me he had a secret that would make me feel better.

We walked to our left, down a short hallway with a closet on our right and a door straight ahead that led outside. He opened the closet, and pushed all of the jackets to the right, leaving a large empty space of wall uncovered.

"Someone lives here with us, Robbie; inside the walls," he said. "Ever wonder why our house has crawl spaces and no doors? Ever wonder what you're traveling under when you go from room to room to room?"

It sounded plausible, but oddly enough those questions had never come to my mind.

"Who lives in the walls?" I asked?

"See for yourself" He gave a rap on the bare surface in the closet, and a seven by three foot chunk of the wall pushed out and moved to the side.

We walked in, and were shortly after greeted by Santa Clause.

I won't finish my dream, as it pretty much goes from there... there was also a green imp who liked to talk to itself that lived in the walls too... not to mention that they were all smoking pot... my mom brought us cookies, and there was a beautiful city-scape view (from the inside of the walls of a suburban house??) YET, I still had to ask my dad

"Is this real?"

before waking up... that Nyquil is some crazy shit.

It Was Only A Dream...

This will be a fairly long post... with no pictures or videos. I had a dream last night that shook me so hard that when I woke up I got out of bed, wrapped a blanket around myself, and just had to walk around... It was very vivid, and I will try to explain it to my best abilities.

Alright, this was my dream...

In the beginning, I dreamt that I was just waking up for the day. I got out of my bed, walked out into the hallway upstairs, and before I knew it I had this very abrupt, very exciting idea: a new bedroom. I remembered, a false memory as is usual in a dream, that my parents had moved their bedroom from the south-east bedroom on the second level to the south-west bedroom a long while ago.

In reality the "south-east bedroom" is actually a regular sized bathroom, but as I walked into it in my dream it was a very large bedroom. It stretched out onto the roof of the living room downstairs, and had a sliding glass door that led out onto a balcony, through which the morning sun was shining. There were large windows facing south that looked out over the back yard.

Just so you understand why I would want to move into this bedroom, I have too much big furniture for the size of my room which inevitibly creates a rather cramped feeling. This room was much bigger than my current bedroom, and maybe I could even fit my sectional couch in it!

I hurriedly ran downstairs, desperate to find someone. Blurry transition to a golf course where I'm driving around the parking lot trying to find a space. Somehow I knew that my parents were at this golf course, and only my dad would be able to give the go ahead for me to move into the south-east bedroom.

It was very busy, and there wasn't a spot that I could find, but I did see my dad close by. I pulled up onto the grass next to him. It was very thick grass here, and appeared to have not been mowed in a short while. I noticed a man just a few feet in front of me getting ready to putt into the bottom of a circular podium next to my car.

"Am I on the course? I should find a different place to park."
"It's ok," said my dad. "I'll get an extra ball if you join the game."
"Where's mom?" I randomly asked.
"Oh, she went back home. She said that she had had a very weird encounter with some old guy and was pretty shaken."

Without really noticing, I was suddenly standing outside. My car was gone, but I didn't pay attention to it, just like I passed over my dad's last statement and moved on to the reason why I was there.

"Dad, I just had an idea when I woke up today. Now, you know how my room faces north-west and I don't get much sun shining in it, especially in the winter... and you know how it's fairly cramped because I have so much large furniture... well I thought that maybe I could move into your and mom's bedroom."

I had meant to say 'former bedroom', but somehow I missed the former. Just as I asked this, I remembered the reality of the south-east room, that it was in all actuality a bathroom, and then I realized what I had just asked my dad, which now seemed completely pathetic. I was embarassed like no other.

"That sounds like a great idea!" He said.
"What??"
"You can move into our bedroom, sure! Your mom and I will just move to The Bahamas!" He laughed aloud at his joke. My embarassment sunk even further. I love my dad but I'm not a big fan of his humor sometimes, especially when it's at my expense.

Completely overreacting I interrupted his chortling with a very stern "Fuck you!" and hurried away into the parking lot. As I was walking away, my mind registered that my car had disappeared. Had I moved it to an actual parking space? I couldn't remember. Crap! And, I had just stormed away from my dad in a protest... if I have to make a U-turn now and head back near him to get my car I will look like a complete dumbass, not to mention the strength behind my message to him will be lost while we both concentrate on my stupid choice of direction.

For those of you who don't know me too well - I over-analyze everything, maybe that's why my dreams are always so vivid - anyway!

After I walked a good 60 feet or so I turn around to look for my car. As I'm looking around I see a van facing me. It is completely dark inside except for a white hand, bright from the sun's rays, that's being held out over the dashboard, waving. I walk closer to the van, and I notice it's my mother. She has a petrified look on her face; her eyes are wide, and her lips are parted. I can see she's clenching her teeth. Some mumbled garble is emitted from her throat, as she tries to repeat her encounter with some creepy, old man.

"He had is windows up, they were tinted."

"Oh mom! It's ok!" I rush over to the passenger's side door. All of a sudden I have a bag with me, and I toss it through the open window and onto the seat.

"The side door." She says as she motions behind her.

My mom suffered from a syndrome called 'guillain barre' or 'French Polio' in lamens terms which deals with the nervous system and results in severe paralysis and sometimes death if not treated. One can make a full recovery, if treated correctly. She got it when I was little, about seven, and there were many hard times that we all had to face as she recovered. It's an entirely different story for another time, but to sum it up, the doctor my mom had orginally been seeing for recovery was performing malpractice on the case for a lengthy time. Because of it my mom now has permanent nerve damage in her legs and hands. My mom and I are extremely close, and I can only say that while guillain barre weakened her physical structure it only strengthened our bond. I love her with all my heart, along with my sister and dad, and they are honestly my best friends as an added bonus to being my family.

So, as you might suspect, I hated seeing my mother in such a panicked state. I walked around the car to the sliding side door of the van. My mother had crawled into the back seat and I was looking forward to giving her a big hug and raising her spirits. As I got to the door though and my mom was completing her trip, I noticed an arm coming up from behind the back seat. My mom was blocking most of my view of the man as he crawled over the seat.

"MOM! It's him!" I yelled as I grabbed onto my mom's arm. He grabbed my mom's waist and started pulling her out of the van's sliding door on the opposite side. I took my hand and tried scratching at his face. He had orange age-spots all over his forehead. Somehow he was very strong, and if we were arm wrestling I would be at the part where I'm fighting for my life just inches above the surface. I looked around for my dad. I saw a lot of peolpe walking on the edge of the parking lot. There were a lot of white polos, but no Dad.

I went to yell, but there was no sound.

I woke up, it was about 7:20 am. I immediately grabbed my blanket and went into my parent's south-west bedroom, next to the south-east bathroom, to see if I could catch my mom before she had gone to work - my dad was there, but my mom had already left.

I laid back down in my bed. I had this strange remorse for waking up and leaving my mom in the dream. I still feel like a part of her is being abducted by this strange man in some dream reality somewhere and I left when I woke up. I've been having a very strange, slow-moving morning since... the dream was just so realistic and painful.

It's my break now. I'm going to call my mom. I miss her.

The Canine Caper

While on a mission that our agency had labeled "The Canine Caper", my partner-in-crime and I were standing in a dimly lit office, waiting for the man with whom we would do business to arrive. Our briefings had included us to be on our toes at all times, but being on your toes during a simple trade-off seemed unnecessary for the most part.

"There are things out there you will only believe on sight," we had been told rather vaguely before we had been sent on our way.

We were only waiting for a few moments before the door opened. My partner and I watched in amazement as a man-sized poodle walked upright like a human into the dimly lit office.

"Down!" the dog said with a rough bark-like tone.

My partner immediately kneeled on the ground and sat on his feet. The poodle turned it's head in my direction. He lifted a puzzled eyebrow and cocked his head to the side as if looking at me diagonally would answer any questions in his mind.

"Down!" he barked again.

I had a strange feeling that I should follow the advice of this poodle, even if I consciously didn't want to. Whatever this silly game was, I would follow along and pretend to be as brainwashed as my pathetic partner. I knew that it would be in my best interest for the time being, so I too kneeled on the ground and sat on my feet.

"Beg!" demanded the poodle.

My partner lifted up his butt, making a backwards L with his body, and attempted a yapping sound. His hands hung limp at his sides like a t-rex. His tongue hung limp from his mouth as if trying to catch some popcorn that had just been launched into the air. I followed suit.

"Stand!"

We stood up.

"Turn"

We turned around 180 degrees so our backs were now towards the dog-man.

"Walk!"

We started walking towards the wall. I noticed a marking on the floor a few feet in front of us. It looked like a square etched in the wood; a very large square big enough to fit two people. Cutting down the middle of the square was another marking. The poodle was leading us to a trap door!

I pushed my partner off his course. He fell to the floor with a hard thud.

"Where am I?" he asked. His hypnotic state had worn off.

"DOWN!" The dog spat. "DOWN!!" He started hopping towards me. I ran around the markings on the floor to the other side of the trap door. In his rage the poodle headed straight at me, blind of what was in his path. As he hopped into the middle of the square, the floor gave away and the poodle fell into darkness.

I hurried over to my partner, helped him off the floor, and the both of us started raiding the office. We found what we had been looking for hidden at the back of a desk drawer. Just as I grabbed the item in my hand, the office doors flew open with a bang.

The poodle was standing there, growling. An orange plastic ball was balancing on his nose.

"It was a slide into a ball pit!" He barked, and with a twich of his snout sent the ball flying up in the air only to come back down in his mouth. His sharp teeth pierced the ball and it popped with the sound similar to a gun when fired. The dog spit out the orange mess onto the ground. "I just wanted to have some fun! You RUINED my fun!" He ran at us, but my partner was quick and stabbed him with a syringe he had drawn from his pocket.

The dog tumbled back off his hind legs. He awkwardly walked around the room on all fours before falling over, unconscious.

"Down," said my partner, as he pushed the dog over the trap door and back down the slide.

With our mission complete we left the office on our way back to headquarters.

---this story was inspired by a dream I had last night---

There Are A Lot of Lights, When You're Not Looking at the Sun

Call me slow, but you know what I just realized a little earlier today? The background to my blog - which is one of the blogger-created layouts - in my opinion looks like the many lights on the set of the Larry King Live Show.

There are two tv's in the lobby of the Bloomington City Hall - which is where Bloomington Civic Theatre performs and where I've been rehearsing for The Fantasticks - and it's always turned to CNN. During our break today I went out to the Lobby, and saw that the Larry King Live Show was on. The backdrop on his set is a bunch of small colored lights (mainly blue) that create the shape of the continents. Maybe that was Blogger's inspiration... I just never thought of it until I saw it.

ANYWAY, I was thinking about what to possibly write about in tomorrow's (today's) blog last night as I was laying in bed, and my mind wandered to things that go bump in the night... Well, I used to be scared of the dark to the point where I would NOT allow myself to sleep in a pitch black room - I didn't like the time it took for my eyes to adjust. My thoughts would always go to the scene in Silence of The Lambs when Anthony Hopkins is watching Jodie Foster through night vision goggles in the basement. I was too creeped out in thinking that some cannibal was looking at me clear as day only a foot or so away from my face when I couldn't see him at all... what would that fear be called? Also, for some reason I used to be scared of closing the door at night.

Now, I not only sleep with my door closed, which is best if there's a fire, but I sleep in pitch black too. I always check my closet before bed, so that doesn't scare me anymore, and I just realized that I feel SO comfortable in my bed now. I looked outside and wished to see a UFO when before I would have freaked out.

Speaking of which - I swear to the heavens that I once saw a UFO in the sky. I was laying in bed, looking out my window, when I saw a star zig zag through the sky. It wasn't a satellite, it wasn't a meteor, it ZIG ZAGGED! I freaked out. Also, I once freaked myself out by reading a couple UFO books I got from the library. Why I read those stories I will never know... but recently I noticed that I don't get scared about that stuff anymore - and it's because I feel so safe. It's nice to feel that way.

I've been kind of out of touch with my comedic writing skills lately - so I apologize if my posts have been boring recently :P It'll be back shortly :)

I'll now leave you with a video of the very Larry King Live Show I was talking about earlier - and it just so happened that this one is about UFOs! It's kind of humorous. My favorite quote is Buzz Aldrin (on one of his many tangents) saying "It's gonna occupy a lot of our time trying to explain what's going on" while occupying a lot of our time trying to explain that he saw a UFO while flying to the moon...


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