The Canine Caper

While on a mission that our agency had labeled "The Canine Caper", my partner-in-crime and I were standing in a dimly lit office, waiting for the man with whom we would do business to arrive. Our briefings had included us to be on our toes at all times, but being on your toes during a simple trade-off seemed unnecessary for the most part.

"There are things out there you will only believe on sight," we had been told rather vaguely before we had been sent on our way.

We were only waiting for a few moments before the door opened. My partner and I watched in amazement as a man-sized poodle walked upright like a human into the dimly lit office.

"Down!" the dog said with a rough bark-like tone.

My partner immediately kneeled on the ground and sat on his feet. The poodle turned it's head in my direction. He lifted a puzzled eyebrow and cocked his head to the side as if looking at me diagonally would answer any questions in his mind.

"Down!" he barked again.

I had a strange feeling that I should follow the advice of this poodle, even if I consciously didn't want to. Whatever this silly game was, I would follow along and pretend to be as brainwashed as my pathetic partner. I knew that it would be in my best interest for the time being, so I too kneeled on the ground and sat on my feet.

"Beg!" demanded the poodle.

My partner lifted up his butt, making a backwards L with his body, and attempted a yapping sound. His hands hung limp at his sides like a t-rex. His tongue hung limp from his mouth as if trying to catch some popcorn that had just been launched into the air. I followed suit.

"Stand!"

We stood up.

"Turn"

We turned around 180 degrees so our backs were now towards the dog-man.

"Walk!"

We started walking towards the wall. I noticed a marking on the floor a few feet in front of us. It looked like a square etched in the wood; a very large square big enough to fit two people. Cutting down the middle of the square was another marking. The poodle was leading us to a trap door!

I pushed my partner off his course. He fell to the floor with a hard thud.

"Where am I?" he asked. His hypnotic state had worn off.

"DOWN!" The dog spat. "DOWN!!" He started hopping towards me. I ran around the markings on the floor to the other side of the trap door. In his rage the poodle headed straight at me, blind of what was in his path. As he hopped into the middle of the square, the floor gave away and the poodle fell into darkness.

I hurried over to my partner, helped him off the floor, and the both of us started raiding the office. We found what we had been looking for hidden at the back of a desk drawer. Just as I grabbed the item in my hand, the office doors flew open with a bang.

The poodle was standing there, growling. An orange plastic ball was balancing on his nose.

"It was a slide into a ball pit!" He barked, and with a twich of his snout sent the ball flying up in the air only to come back down in his mouth. His sharp teeth pierced the ball and it popped with the sound similar to a gun when fired. The dog spit out the orange mess onto the ground. "I just wanted to have some fun! You RUINED my fun!" He ran at us, but my partner was quick and stabbed him with a syringe he had drawn from his pocket.

The dog tumbled back off his hind legs. He awkwardly walked around the room on all fours before falling over, unconscious.

"Down," said my partner, as he pushed the dog over the trap door and back down the slide.

With our mission complete we left the office on our way back to headquarters.

---this story was inspired by a dream I had last night---