Scary Snake Story

This was the moment that turned Lacey and Shirley lesbians for life. They vowed to never go another day without wearing the same pink outfit again... until one day when Shirley started donning plaid flannel.

I was told the following story last night, and while it may have happened to a friend of a friend of a friend, it's not an urban legend. It is a true story, and I find it to be rather disturbing. If you hate snakes, don't read on - this is the most disturbing snake story I've heard.

After rehearsal last night, a group of us went out to Green Mill for some cheap apps and drinks. Somehow conversation turned into scary stories of burglaries, pet nightmares, and to us theatre folks, theatre horror stories. I might have to tell one of those after the snake story as those tend to be hilarious albeit an actor's worst nightmare come true.

Heather's friend went to a bridal shower. It was at the bride-to-be's house, where some of the girls had been before. They noticed that the host's pet boa constrictor was gone, and so they asked her what happened...

Apparently, the woman, who loved her pet snake and trusted it whole-heartedly (I can only assume), would let the snake roam free about her house. I'm guessing this is all because the pet was rather large, and she felt bad confining it to such a small space... who knows exactly.

Well, the snake stopped eating one day. The owner got worried that the snake was dying and called the vet. The vet told her that sometimes snakes get bored with what you're feeding them and like a change of food every now and then.

The owner took this advice and immediately bought a new type of food for the snake. Still, the snake refused to eat.

One morning shortly after, the woman woke up and found the snake in bed with her. I guess the snake had done this before, having free range of the house and all, as this wasn't what worried her... instead, she was scared because the snake was stretched out and stiff as a board.

Convinced that her snake was dying, she immediately called the vet again and told them what was happening. Over the phone the vet told her;

"Get out of your house right now. The snake is measuring you up to see if it can eat you. It's been fasting."

Needless to say, she ran outside, called animal control, and they took the snake away.

Isn't that disturbing!? I mean holy crap! If you ever own a snake, let alone a boa constrictor, then I suggest not letting it have free reign of the entire house, and for your own sake, switch up it's food every now and then or it'll switch it up for you...

I should be working... so I'm not going to tell one of the acting horror stories, but let me tell you... you will never hear so many crazy stories than those told by actors... where else will you find conversations combining a barfing dracula on a zip line, spewing over the audience, and Julie Andrews?

This is appropriately titled Huge Dead Snake

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