Let's See Yours Now... ... OW! - Teeth Review

Over a few glasses of wine and a pizza, my great friend Heather and I watched a movie we had been anticipating for months; Teeth. Now, if you're ever looking for a new comedy/thriller with a cult classic appeal, then I definitely suggest you see this movie. It will have you clasping your mouth shut with your hand in shock/disgust while causing you to laugh hysterically at the same time.

Dawn O'Keefe (a brilliant play on the artist Georgia O'Keeffe; most famously known for her paintings of flowers inspired by the female genitalia) was born with a case of Vagina Dentata (sharp teeth in her down-there parts); making the movie's catch phrase "Every Rose Has Its Thorns" very befitting. She grew up with a strong belief that one should always wait until their wedding day to have sex, and that masturbation is a horrible sin. She is completely oblivious to her condition until the influence of sex surrounds her, and she starts contemplating on fooling around with a boy she likes at school. The following is an amazingly gruesome, graphic, and extremely uproarious story of sexual discovery and PAIN that will have many a guy a little scared to venture into the unknown depths again. (Much like my temporary fear of the shower after seeing the movie "IT" when I was in junior high.) All I can say, is that this is one of many instances where I am thankful for being gay!

The movie was directed brilliantly, in my opinion. The whole crew, and all of the actors, knew very well that the story they were telling was absurd, and so there are many moments (from certain comical faces, to just plainly absurd characters/scenes) where the actor/director bring you back from the horror and say 'it's all a joke, just relax'.

Jess Weixler with Josh Pais behind her, in Teeth.
HAHAHAHA, one of the best parts! LOVE IT!

Jess Weixler does a great job portraying the innocence, curiosity, and absolute confusion of Dawn. You really feel a little pity for her character, and are only excited for her when she dons her 'red nipples' (a Showgirls reference for all of you fans out there).

Two of my absolute favorite characters in the whole show are Brad (Dawn's brother who introduces a very funny, quasi-incestuous theme to the story), played by the oh so talented John Hensley (Nip/Tuck), and Dr. Godfrey (Dawn's new gynecologist who is only shown briefly, but in one of the best scenes of the entire movie), played by Josh Pais. These two made the movie so much more enjoyable to me. I loved their characters, and found myself laughing the most when they were on camera. Of course, all of the acting was great, but these two really did it for me.

John Hensley in Teeth.
That picture to the right of his head almost made me crap my pants in laughter when I first saw it... You might have to take a close look to see what I mean... SO FUNNY!!

All in all, if you have a strong stomach, and aren't easily offended by the idea of a sex farce, then find Teeth today and watch it! I was very tempted to steal it from my friend Heather, but I guess that just means I'll have to go out and buy myself a copy to have for some cocktail party in the future! Holy buckets, that's genius! I'll serve little cocktail weenies, and maybe red wine or any other red alcohol... it'll be divine! YAY!

PREVIEW TIME!!!

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